Valentine's Day almost got cancelled last night. In a moment of hurt, anger, and above all else tiredness, I spat at Logan "Well then let's just forget Valentines Day tomorrow. I mean honestly, what's the point?". Thankfully, Logan never chooses to take me seriously when I'm yelling. He told me "We're not going to cancel Valentine's Day tomorrow just because we aren't getting along tonight" and that was that. It is moments like these that remind me why he is the man that I'm going to marry. He is my lighthouse, the only thing guiding me home in a storm. It is truly his faith in our relationship that has gotten us through these past four years. Where I tend to cave under certain pressures, he is strong enough to brace against the onslaught and shelter us both. So Valentine's Day will occur this evening, and it will include homemade pizza dough and fresh ingredients, all prepared with love on the pizza stone and paddle Logan gave me last year on this very same day. Which brings me to the point of this post:
Stop Trying. I seriously need to get that tattooed on each of my wrists so that when I'm in Whole Foods after a full day of work, burnt out and exhausted, hair in a messy pony tail with my bangs wildly bobby pinned to the side of my head, I will not buy active dry yeast and instead will march myself to the refrigerate section and grab the premade cornmeal pizza dough. Because I will have learned that as soon as I get home and proudly announce that I will be making pizza dough from scratch in honor of Valentines Day, my lovely Valentine will respond, "Why didn't you just buy the premade dough? Wouldn't that be easier?". F!&#%&(@!
If I had Stop Trying tattooed on my wrists, I would not have made Logan turkey soup from scratch for the past two days, carefully pulling the breast apart between my fingers into bite sized pieces one by one. Instead, I would have just dumped Campbell's into a bowl, popped it in the microwave, and served it to him in my cutest lingerie because apparently THAT is what would truly make him feel better. Apparently, my homemade soup is something I should be making my mom (direct quote).
If I had Stop Trying tattooed on my wrists, I likely would have come home earlier, gotten more sleep, and not made the awful suggestion that we should just cancel Valentine's Day. In fact, had I stopped trying so damn hard, I probably would've had time to go the Walgreen's after work and pick out a card. Instead, I have to do that today during the mad holiday rush.
To clarify, this post in no way suggests to give up on all efforts to doing something nice or extra special for those around you. Just make sure that when you do something for someone else, it's solely with that person in mind. If I had been more honest with myself and just stopped trying so damn hard, I would've known that Logan could care less where the dough came from. Also, the time I spent making homemade soup would've been better spent cuddling with him on the couch, watching Caddyshack, because that was all he asked of me and I refused. I had better things to do, more important things to do. But as I sit here typing this post, I realize that I missed out on the most important thing: spending time with someone you love.
So Happy Valentines Day to You and Yours. No matter how you choose to spend it, just remember, all your Valentine wants is you. And and maybe an orgasm or two ;)